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Easing the Transition to Parenthood

© Shari Green

Parent. What comes to mind when you hear that word? Love? Family? Responsibility? And how does it make you feel? Excited? Nervous? Downright terrified? If you're like most expectant parents, you are approaching the arrival of your baby with some amount of anxiety. You may be thrilled with the prospect of becoming a parent, but you know that a time of great transition lies ahead. A post-partum plan can help you assess your needs and ease the passage to parenthood.

Part One: Roles and Responsibilities

Discuss the who, what, and when of the items below (who will do what? when will they do it?), creating Part One of your post-partum plan.

- infant care and feeding
- household tasks (cooking, cleaning, laundry)
- shopping and errands
- self-care (personal care, rest, exercise, sleep)
- "couple time" (or nurturing your adult relationships)

You will discover, partly through planning and partly through "trial and error", what works best for you and your family. Don't feel you must conform to another's expectations of the roles you will play. You have many options. Choose what's right for you.

After baby arrives, make time to regularly re-evaluate your roles and responsibilities. Honest, loving communication goes a long way to solving small problems before they become sources of anger and frustration. Seek to find a balance between your own, your partner's, and your baby's needs: the well-being of your family rests on the well-being of each of you as individuals.

If you are a single parent, assuming most of these responsibilities on your own, you will need to pay particular attention to finding personal time for rest and renewal. Part Two of the post-partum plan (below) may be especially valuable for you.

Part Two: Resources

We often have difficulty asking for help, or accepting it when it is offered. However, life with a new baby can be very demanding, and it is normal to need help. Go ahead and ask for it! Keep asking until your needs are met. When someone says, "Is there anything I can do?", say YES! Say "bring a casserole", "do my laundry", "pick up some groceries". People really do want to help; let them. It frees you to focus on getting to know your baby.

To create Part Two of your post-partum plan, compile a list of community resources to draw on after you have your baby. There are many resources for information, help, and support that can make life easier as you adjust to all the changes a new baby brings. Your Childbirth Educator or public health nurse may be able to provide you with a list, or you may have to start from scratch. It will be worth the effort, though! Be sure to include phone numbers for: