A seven-year-old boy sits on a living room sofa waiting anxiously for his ride. He's going to a birthday party. He's excited about the cake, the games and playing with other children. But mostly he's elated because he gets to spend time with a family that can't wait to see him.
Just another day in the life of a foster kid.
"He was able to be a typical little boy for a while," said Debra Carey of Pittston, PA, the boy's foster parent with her husband Chris. "He has really struggled and through no fault of his own. We were his sixth placement in three years."
The Careys, who have three biological children, ages 11, 9 and 5, have been foster parenting for about a year and a half. Fostering agencies exist across the United States. The Careys work directly with Lackawanna County Children and Youth Services in Scranton, PA.
"We have had kids in our home who came to us literally with nothing but the shirts on their backs," Carey said in an interview with Suite101.com. "It's heartbreaking sometimes, but all you can do is encourage and help each child the best way possible."
And the best way possible, according to Carey, is through foster parent education. While she said there is no way to place a dollar value on the emotional rewards of foster parenting, the challenges of transitioning a neglected or abused child into a new home are plentiful. Here are some of the conditions foster parents are trained to be prepared for:
- Anger. A common misconception of foster parenting is that the child will be grateful to be in a new home, particularly if his or her prior home was abusive. In most cases, rather than feeling rescued, the child is resentful of being taken from his or her environment, and acts out with with contempt and disrespect.
- Developmental problems. Due to the unstable nature of a foster child's prior upbringing, he or she is likely to have developmental difficulties, both socially and within an educational system. Foster parents should know a child's developmental background and take steps to implement corrective behaviors.
- Visitation with birth parents. Child placement in foster care is either short or long term. In either case, a fostering agency often implements visitation with the natural parent or parents with the hope that the child may return to his or her own home. Foster parents need to be compassionate and communicate openly with the child while the agency continues this process.
- Learn to love and let go. In some cases, foster parents petition to adopt a foster child. But each placement is unique and a child may come to a foster family for days, weeks or years. The uncertainty which accompanies each placement forces foster parents to learn to say goodbye and accept that reunification with natural parents is the primary goal.
Before a parent can even begin fostering a child, strict guidelines must be met in order to secure the safety of the child within the foster care system. Someone interested in foster parenting should contact their state agency, and after research and reflection of the guidelines, begin the filing process. Requirements include the following:
- Screening. Before a child is placed in a new home, the foster parents must undergo screenings to determine eligibility. Standard guidelines generally call for physical and psychological evaluations for both parents, home inspections to ensure adequate living space, financial inquiries to show enough income to support a child, criminal background checks and personal references.
- Training. Foster parents are required to complete specific parenting courses along with first aid training and CPR certification. State agencies and their regional offices offer the courses and online foster parent training is also available.
- Continuing education. The learning never stops for foster families. Parents are required to attend monthly meetings and continue to log training hours to ensure they are equipped to handle the child/parent situations listed above.
The goal of a foster parent is to provide a loving, nurturing and safe environment for a child in distress. The process is a group effort. A foster parent is supported by case or social workers, physicians, and educators assigned by the state agency to oversee a child's care and provide intervention when necessary for the foster parent.
"It's a great support system," said Carey. "And for some parents who are unable to have children of their own, but want them, it could be a first step towards adoption."
But Carey added that in the end, nurturing a child, even if only for a short time, is a great way to experience the enormous rewards of parenting.
Related Article:
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Kimberly Rebovich - Kimberly Rebovich has been associated with publishing for the better part of 20 years. Most of her publishing experience is rooted in her ...
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