Prana Studios/The Jim Henson Company/The Weinstein Company's Tortoise vs. Hare is a modern update on the classic Aesop's Tale. It has some amusing bits, and the animation is good, but it really doesn't rise above mediocrity.
What's It About?
It's been 15 years since Walter Tortoise (Danny Glover) pulled off a surprising victory in a foot race against Murray Hare (Jay Leno). Both sides are still obsessing over what happened when the overconfident Murray took a nap just before the finish line, letting Walter win the race. Walter repeats his adage "slow and steady wins the race" every chance he gets, while Murray goes into convulsions every time he hears the phrase.
Both Walter and Murray think they know what's best for their kids: whether it's Walter wanting his daughter Crystal (Keke Palmer) to become a lawyer instead of a dancer, or Murray deriding his son (Drake Bell) Butch's scientific interests so he can try out for the track team.
And also, Murray wants revenge. When he hears about the upcoming Mount Impossible team race, he not only convinces his son to join him, but also challenges Walter and Crystal to compete against them in the grueling nature hike.
Will the younger generation teach the older generation a thing or two about friendship, family and playing fair? Ya think?
Is Tortoise vs. Hare Any Good?
Keep in mind that this is not the infamous Tortoise versus Hare script that was buried in the Aardman-DreamWorks divorce back in January of 2007. The Weinsteins and the Hensons pipped that project to the post by rushing out this quickie version.
Much like the documentary approach with Sony's Surf's Up, Tortoise vs. Hare frames the action with ESPN-style commentary from on air personalities Rex and Bob Stork. There are also a pair of weasels running around with a news camera and boom mic. They're supposed to be comedic relief, but their antics are annoying rather than funny.
Other than that, this movie follows a fairly predictable path. There's various hijinks along the trail, with the dads growling at each other and the kids making embarrassed faces. At some point, the two kids get thrown together by some danger/circumstance and - gasp! - become friends. Then the two kids have an easily-resolved misunderstanding, and teach the silly parents that they actually have more in common than they think. After which, everyone has a big laugh, becomes BFF and lives happily ever after. The end.
Extra Tidbits
Surprisingly, there's a lot of extra cheese on this DVD (the studios have been cutting back on DVD extras recently, so as to encourage audiences to go Blu-Ray), and that earns this DVD another point. Senior director Howard E. Baker shows off the character designs in one featurette, while another features interviews with Baker, producer Lisa Henson, along with voice actors Bell and Palmer.
Finally, there's a preview of the next Unstable Fables release: The Goldilocks and the Three Bears Show, which features the voices of Jamie-Lynn Spears and Tom Arnold.
The Final Analysis
Certainly, Henson and Weinstein are capable of unleashing some interesting stuff. The Blue Elephant was a nice ray of light among the direct-to-DVD sludge, a genuine story that rose above some lame animation. But Tortoise vs. Hare tries to be hip, hop n' happening, instead of simply telling a good story, and that's why it doesn't do as well.
There's nothing much wrong with this flick, but there's nothing much right about it either. The voice cast is solid, Prana's animation is decent, and there are some moments where some animators' imaginations really take flight.
However, the film lacks that spark, that little touch of inspiration that takes it out of the mediocre zone and turns it into something special. One gets the feeling that nobody really cared about making Tortoise vs. Hare into a great movie. And if the filmmakers don't care, why should we?
Tortoise vs. Hare gets a 5/10.
Dominic von Riedemann - Dominic is the Animated Film Feature Writer, and winner of 11 Suite 101 Editors' Choice Awards.
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