English Afternoon Tea Etiquette

Learn Elegant Tea Party Manners and Traditions

Creme Scones at Afternoon Tea - Photo by Steve Woods, Courtesy SXC
Creme Scones at Afternoon Tea - Photo by Steve Woods, Courtesy SXC
Tips and Ideas on how to attend an English style afternoon tea or tea party with style and elegance. Learn teatime etiquette, manners, and traditional charming behavior.

Knowing proper etiquette and manners allows one to relax and enjoy the charm of an afternoon tea. This English tradition is a lovely way to spend time with friends in a genteel and special atmosphere. Following are tips for proper teatime behavior.

Good Manners when Holding a Teacup at Afternoon Tea

  • Once filled, holding a handled teacup correctly insures grace while avoiding spilling hot tea. One's fingers are placed to the front and back of the handle with the pinkie finger tilted slightly up for balance. It is rude to loop fingers through the handle or to hold the body of the cup with the palm of the hand.
  • Tea should always be sipped sweetly with elegance to show good manners.
  • Practicing at home before attending a public party might be a wise choice when one is unfamiliar with having afternoon tea.

Tips for Tea Time Etiquette, Manners and a Making a Good Cup of Tea

  • It is considered rude to stir one's tea in wide circular motions. Proper etiquette requires the teaspoon to be held at the six o'clock position to begin. Then, any added liquid is folded lightly towards the twelve o'clock position two or three times.
  • The teaspoon should never be left in the teacup. When not in use, the small teaspoon is placed on the right side of the tea saucer.
  • When not in use, the teacup is placed back on the saucer, rather then held. The saucer will be on the table, or in one's lap if there is no table.
  • If having milk in one's tea, pouring either the tea or the milk into the cup first constitutes good manners. As a side note, cream is generally avoided as it can mask the taste of the tea.
  • Sugar cubes may be added to tea with or without milk.
  • When having lemon with tea, delicate lemon slices are generally offered. A small fork is usually provided for adding lemon to tea.
  • Another tip is not to combine lemon with milk in tea, as the lemon juice will cause the milk to curdle.

Tea Party Manners while Eating

  • When seated at the table, the napkin is put on one's lap. The napkin should never touch the table once one is seated. Even if temporarily leaving the table, the napkin is set on the seat.
  • If served scones, split the scone in half horizontally with a knife. Butter is spread on part of one of the scone's crumb sides. This is topped with jam, if desired.
  • When Devonshire cream is served with jam and scones, add a dollop by spoonful, on top of the jam.
  • Tea sandwiches and treats should be eaten in delicate bites. Remember to smile and chat between bites.
  • Forks should never be set back down on the table. Instead, they are set on the side of the plate.

Related Articles:

Christmas Afternoon Tea Party Tips: Ideas for Planning a Holiday English Tea,

English Afternoon Tea for Seniors: Easy Tea Party Tips & Activity Ideas for Senior Citizens, and Afternoon Tea Party Planning 101.

Remember, afternoon tea parties are, above all else, about socializing and enjoying friends. Revel in the moment, savor the delightful food, and relax with the warmth of the tea and friendship. No one will truly care whether you eat your scone or hold your teacup "correctly"... but good manners help create a nicer entertainment experience.

Janienne Jennrich, Self-Portrait, ©Janienne Jennrich, 2010

Janienne Jennrich - Janienne Jennrich, Topic Editor for Kids & Teen Parties and for Hair, is an award-winning freelance writer & webmaster.

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11 Comments

Comments

Dec 20, 2009 11:59 AM
Guest :
Helpful, but found a critical mistake. According to Paul Burrell, former buttler of Princess Diana - "the milk never goes in first!" "If you do, you are a 'mif' and are terribly common". That is according to him, so I am just saying....
Jan 6, 2010 11:00 AM
Guest :
The article is great, however, the milk should never be poured first, as it is not supposed to be a lot of milk, it is just a touch.
Jan 13, 2010 6:31 PM
Janienne Jennrich :
From the Author:
Apparently, the order of milk/tea or tea/milk hs been up for debate for some time. Interesting!

According to Wikipedia, "Whether to put milk into the cup before or after the tea is, and has been since at least the late 20th century, a matter of some debate with claims that adding milk at the different times alters the flavour of the tea."
Feb 11, 2010 4:08 PM
Guest :
Using Wikipedia is not the best argument for your milk/tea or tea/milk situation. I believe in this instance Paul Burrell is correct for the Englad upper class circles. As for a normal afternoon tea I don't think it matters either way. However, if you are ever having tea with the Queen then yes do not put your milk in before the tea. Do try and stay away from using Wikipedia it is a poor source at best.
take care
Feb 21, 2010 9:14 AM
Guest :
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't people used to put the milk in first to keep the glaze on the cup from cracking?
Oct 17, 2010 11:38 PM
Guest :
I once was told that when china cups were delicate and prone to breaking because of temperature changes it was the practice to put milk in first because it tempered the heat from the tea thus avoiding damaging the fine china cups.
But as the tea cups improved in design this no longer was an issue, so by the Victorian era putting milk in first was associated with people of lower classes who put milk in first so the tea would kill off bacteria in the milk (something the upper classes didn't need to consider.)
So both practices are acceptable because both hark back to either the Victorian practice of milk-in-last for the upper classes, or milk-in-first for the older 'lets not damage the china' style.
That's what I was told. And it seems pretty reasonable to me.
Jan 16, 2011 8:16 AM
Guest :
I am planning a tea party theme and it has really helped
Mar 22, 2011 7:28 AM
Guest :
You must never slice your scone in half! You place it (whole) on your plate, break off a bitesized piece to which you then add a little cream and jam. This also applies to eating a bread roll.
Also, your napkin must never be placed on the seat. Imagine if you had a little cream or worse jam on the napkin! This would then be transferred to the seat cover of your host's chairs! Should you need to leave the table, your napkin must be placed neatly (but not folded) on the left hand side of your plate.
Mar 27, 2011 9:06 AM
Janienne Jennrich :
From the Author:

Thank you for any and all comments!

It's quite interesting to hear the different "rules" of tea. I am certainly open to ideas other than those I found while researching for this and other tea articles. I did not use Wikipedia among my original sources, of course. I am simply pointing out that the issue or milk or tea first is often debated.

It should also be said that neither am I English (except in ancestry and spirit), nor have I ever been invited to have tea with the queen. One can only hope that if I am invited to have tea with the queen, I will not make too big a fool of myself. : )

Please feel free to leave your opinions and share with others! I love a good, healthy debate (and the napkin on the chair does seem a bit odd on second thought...).
May 10, 2011 9:57 AM
Guest :
Most helpful! I am going to my FIRST tea, given by a very proper and wonderful English lady! Thank you so much for your information! I just loved it!
Jean
Jun 4, 2011 12:23 PM
Guest :
Extremely Helpful, I will definitely use this information.
11 Comments
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