Dealing with people who have narcissist personalities is challenging. Although they can appear charming, they make others be dependent on their approval. Living or working with a narcissist can be extremely draining if boundaries aren’t set and reinforced.
What is a Narcissist?
The term “narcissism” comes from the Greek mythology character called “Narcissus” who fell in love with his own reflection while gazing into a pool of water. Narcissists are people who have an obsessive interest in themselves. They’re consumed with their physical appearance and have a grandiose opinion of their own abilities, craving attention and admiration as highly self-centered people.
Although a person can have some narcissistic traits such as selfishness or being argumentative, that doesn’t make him a narcissist. To have a narcissistic-personality disorder means a person has a chronic pattern of irregular thinking and behaviors in various situations.
Signs of Narcissism
Narcissists lack empathy for others. They have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and expect people to do favors for them rather than them being concerned about others. Envy is a common sign of narcissism as these people are jealous of the achievements of others. They dominate conversations and exaggerate their own accomplishments and importance.
To a narcissist, appearance is more important than inner qualities such as integrity. Bragging about power and wealth helps to boost his low self-esteem, regardless of whether the narcissist is actually wealthy or is lying about his economic status.
Causes of Narcissism
In reality, narcissists feel inferior so they develop a superiority complex to combat feeling less than others. This usually involves an exaggeration of the narcissist’s own accomplishments, while putting down others viewed as threats.
According to WinningTeams.com, narcissism occurs as a result of a gap between one’s ideal self and the real self. An ideal self involves standards that are set by other people. This gap can cause anxiety, leading to a person developing defense devices for defending his ego.
Tips for Dealing with Narcissists
Living or working with a narcissist can be difficult. The following measures can be helpful to anyone who must deal with a narcissist.
- Set boundaries. It’s important to decide the amount of approval to give a narcissist. This also applies to setting boundaries on how long to listen to them talk about themselves. For example, if a narcissist goes beyond so many minutes of self-adulation, politely change the subject or make an excuse to leave the conversation.
- Avoid arguments. Forget trying to win an argument with a narcissist. Instead, steer a conversation in an peaceful direction.
- End the relationship. When involved in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to know when to leave. If a narcissist is a family member then it may hard to end the relationship, so it’s vital to care of yourself, realizing the narcissistic has a mental illness and what he says intended to be hurtful should not be taken personally.
Warning About Working or Living with a Narcissist
Narcissists can be deceiving. Besides being charmers, they often may cater to others if they have a quality such as money or power that the narcissist wants. It’s not until a narcissist fails to get what he wants that his true personality is revealed.
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to change a narcissist. Rather than receiving constructive criticism, they met criticism with anger and feel betrayed. People who support and reinforce them by giving in to their demands only enable them to get worse. If it’s impossible to avoid a relationship with a narcissist, understand them rather than criticize them as this is the only way to survive and remain sane.
Sources:
Causes of Narcissism and Egocentric Behavior
Are Your Involved with a Narcissist?
Venice Kichura - Venice Kichura is a freelance writer who writes on a variety of subjects. She holds a special passion for topics relating to art and ...
