Being a stay-at-home parent and devoting your life to your children doesn't mean your marriage should take a back seat.
Scheduling regular date nights with your spouse will give your marriage a regular recharge, give you a night off, and provide such much needed adult conversation.
Marriage counseling experts say it’s important for married couples with children to set aside time to talk privately without the kids around, go out on “dates,” and take an occasional weekend getaway with just the two of you.
Here’s what experts have to say about your date night with your spouse:
Set a Regular Date Night and Stick To It
If your date night is once a week, once every two weeks or once a month, make a commitment and a promise to your spouse that you’ll be there. Put it on the calendar and think of it as an obligation just as important as a doctor’s appointment or a work function.
Some couples have busy weekends and set their date night for a weeknight. Pick a night that you’re not busy with your children’s activities, and put your date night on the calendar.
Think Beyond Dinner in a Restaurant
If evenings are just not doable for you, a long lunch in a nice restaurant with your spouse is nice, too. The idea is to spend time together that is uninterrupted and relaxing. The time of day isn’t important.
Think of other fun things to do with your spouse that leave you free to talk while you’re having fun.
Arrange for a Babysitter
Schedule an ongoing date with a babysitter. If your date night is every Tuesday, book your babysitter for every Tuesday night for several months at a time.
Have a backup babysitter for the nights your regular sitter can’t make it.
If the cost of babysitting is a problem, work out a babysitting trade with a friend or neighbor who also has children. One night a week, you can babysit your friend’s children and have a fun friends night for your kids; another night a week you and your spouse get to go out.
Care.com is a Web site that matches families with babysitters in their areas.
Be sure whatever babysitting arrangement you make leaves you confident. Your date night should be stress free and not worried about your children.
Some Conversation Starters
Think you already know everything about this person sitting across the table from you? Think again. Or think harder. Come up with some conversation starters that will get your spouse talking, remembering, laughing and sharing.
Try to avoid talking about the kids, the house, the bills, and any issue you know is a hot spot for arguments between the two of you.
Don’t use your date night to make a plea or case for something that you know is going to lead to an argument or more complicated, serious conversation. Save that for another time; date night is for connecting with your spouse, not contention.
Join the Conversation