If ever you've thought the Polar Ice Caps were dangerous, then this film proves that you're right. Not only is there fear that they might melt and drown the Earth in water, but if they were to do just that, some crazy creatures from the deep might just emerge and kill everyone.
The box alone makes this movie worth watching. It's a testament of strength to octopi everywhere to see one of its own taking out a yacht while simultaneously fighting off a mega shark.
It all begins when Debbie Gibson, Emma the scientist, in her tiny submarine, witnesses a school of whales swimming together near the ice caps, when one gets a little pushy and rams another into the ice. This causes a chain reaction where the ice breaks and soon, unbeknownst to Emma, two prehistoric giant sea creatures will emerge. Emma is with her geeky scientist buddy Vince in their stolen research submarine, and barring any further damage to the vessel, they decide to return to the surface.
Oh, The Horror!
These animals aren't messing around, as soon the giant octopus gets his tentacles around an oil rig, and takes that down in one swift movement. It looks like one of those guys crushing a can between their hands because it makes them look cool.
However, the shark has the poor octopus beat on this one, because he soars through the air, straight from the ocean and takes out a plane that is flying at 15,000 ft. in a glorious singular bite. The best moment with the passengers is that one guy, sitting in the center row, across the aisle from the window, sees the shark jump out of the water and into the air. He is the only one who witnesses their impending death. Now that's realistic! The final phrase this remarkably intelligent man says right before his death is just tragic. The writers really wanted him to sound like a moron.
Love At First Awkward Moment
So after all of this, Emma somehow becomes involved, being the advanced science mind that she is, and sets out to save the world. She enlists the help of her old college professor, Lamar, who is strange and their relationship is weird, who is dead set on telling the audience just how smart she is. But, if you couldn't tell by her tank tops and need to give sexy eyes to everyone, then you're blind.
Lamar grabs up Dr. Seiji Shimada for some assistance, who immediately falls head over heels for Emma. They have an awkward flirtation that is a little uncomfortable, but hey, at least the geeky Asian doctor wins in this one. Their intense connection culminates in a sex scene in the glorified chemistry lab that they've been feverishly working in to find a way to rid the world of these beasts. From then on, their hearts beat only for each other.
After this encounter, they realize the one way to trick these monsters into death, pheromones. If only the animals would swim as fast as they could toward the smells of the opposite sex, then they could lure them to a central location and trap them in the process. But, while this succeeds in luring the animals to them, the scientists forget they are gigantic and they escape from capture. While this is all happening, giant shark bites a chunk out of the Golden Gate Bridge, just for fun.
The Solution
As the government starts to realize what real trouble they're in, they call in Allan Baxter, played by the ever memorable, and oh so tough Lorenzo Lamas. Donning his signature ponytail, he convinces everyone that maybe using nuclear bombs would be the best course of action to rid the world of the giant octopus and mega shark.
Our scientists, being geniuses, let him know that this is not the best course of action, and suggest they try their failed experiment again, except make it to where the animals end up in the same location. They suggest this will anger both animals to an extent that they will fight one another and kill each other off. Of course, this plan is foolproof! The sea creatures kill each other and the world is safe once again.
Emma and Dr. Shimada are once again reunited and their love can take full bloom.
The Conclusion
Everything about this films screams charity case, which is why it's so incredible. The special effects couldn't be less realistic, and no one would ever believe Debbie Gibson is a scientist doctor. However, this ranks as one of the best bad movies ever, because it is so shamelessly high budget for one of the worst scripts ever created.
Definitely worth a night of painful enjoyment, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into.
Eliza Freer - Eliza graduated from Ball State University, having at least one thing in common with David Letterman, with a BA in Film and Television. ...
