The basic rule for a simple life is to keep everything you either need or love and get rid of the rest. That applies to stuff as well as relationships.
One of the two biggest stumbling blocks people trip over in a quest for simplicity is to look at an object, an activity, or a relationship and be unable to eliminate it from their life because “it (or they) is too good to throw away.” Very few of the things you will eliminate from your home, schedule, or list of relationships will actually be tossed in the dust bin.
The second greatest obstacle to simplifying your life is lack of commitment. When you actually make a committed choice to keep one thing over another it is no longer a big deal once the decision is made. You have committed to something and rejected every other choice. People who fail to commit to their decisions end up putting that old coat, the unused golf clubs, or the second vacuum cleaner in their bedroom closet “just in case.” In other words, they really didn’t make any decision at all.
Simplifying your life requires you to make decisions and then act upon those decisions. In most cases a decision not to continue to own, to participate, or to relate, is not an activity of judgment but of setting priorities. That pair of shoes you never wear may still have a great deal of utility and service yet to give - just not to you. The fish that still live in your son’s bedroom (even though he just graduated college) are not worthless creatures, but unless you need or love them, perhaps it is time to send them on to a better home than yours.
A Word About Stuff
Excess stuff produces far more negatives in your life than you may realize.
- Time to care for it
- Space to store it
- Guilt for not using it
- Additional choices that complicate other areas of your life (clothes, purses)
- Money wasted on the item itself, space to store it, and to maintain it
A Word About Relationships
The time you spend with someone you don’t need or love takes time away from someone else that you do need or love. Don’t start up a new friendship if you don’t have time to spend with your new friend. We all have dozens of acquaintances, but there can be no friendship without making time for your friend.
If your relationship dance card is full don’t continue to make promises you can’t keep. It isn’t fair to your family, your new friends, or your old ones. Trying to maintain too many relationships results in hurt feelings, guilt, and eventually leaves you with a bunch of folks you know but none that you love who love you back.
Love It, Need It - Keep It
Examine how you spend your time and money. What stuff takes up space on your shelves, in your drawers, and in your closets? Who are you trying to keep up with in the family and in your circle of friends? Whether animal, vegetable, or mineral, this simple question applies.
For each item or relationship ask the question, “Do I love it or need it?” If the answer is no you must make a decision and be committed to stick with it. Is this an easy process? No. But it is a simple one. Sometimes efforts to simplify are just too complicated.
For more, read Why Most Methods to Simplify Your Life Don't Work.
Lynn Baber - Lynn Baber, Christian writer specializing in leadership, relationships, and all things equine.
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