Violence against women encompasses a multitude of possible behaviors and associated consequences. The most prominent forms are that of domestic violence, rape, incest, and physical child abuse that may or may not be accompanied by an underlying sexual nature. While violence and abuse can take on slight variations, the emotional abuse that it originates from carries the damaging after-effects that cause the recipient to continue to feel victimized.
Signs of Abuse
According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), the effects of sexual violence can include a wide range of behavioral, emotional, and physical consequences. Many of the after-effects experienced by survivors of abuse continue for years after the actual act(s) of violence have ended. Some of the effects or signs of abuse include substance abuse, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, sleep disorders, eating disorders, self-harm/self-injury, body memories, and dissociative identity disorder.
Abuse or sexual assault that occurs in childhood can result in many emotional and relationship issues that last well into adulthood, including struggles with setting boundaries, flashbacks, feelings of anger, grieving, guilt/shame, difficulty with trust, unhealthy coping mechanisms, low self-esteem, isolation, and difficulty with expressing one’s sexuality.
Emotional and Relationship Abuse-The Foundations of Domestic Violence
While in some cases the actual act of sexual violence is an isolated, one-time event, the majority of violence against women occurs in established relationships. Domestic violence can be difficult to recognize at first due to its subtle origin as verbal or emotional abuse. Since most, if not all relationships involve some degree of verbal discord, it can be difficult to discern when the appropriate line has been crossed.
Any act of abuse is an attempt to gain control over another’s self-concept and behavior. Perpetrators of domestic or dating violence may have a need to dominate the relationship in order to feel a sense of empowerment. At other times the actual acts of violence may be an inappropriate expression of anger, rage, or anxiety. Perpetrators often come from a history of relationship dysfunction and abuse themselves. Without the proper intervention and self-directed efforts towards behavior modification, they can end up repeating the same cycle of violence.
Emotional abuse is the act of insulting another to tear down their sense of confidence and separate identity. Abuse survivors begin to question their self-worth, self-concept, and ability to trust their own instinct. Survivors of abuse, in an emotional sense, become dependent upon the opinion and wishes of the abuser-to the point of not being able to recognize their own feelings, wants, and needs.
Survivors of Abuse-Moving from Victim to Conqueror
Victims of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence become engaged in a lifelong battle from the moment the first act of violence is inflicted upon them. Many of the after effects associated with the original abuse stem from a battered sense of self-esteem. For example, the act of substance abuse is not only tied to a need to numb feelings of anxiety and depression. Substance abuse can also stem from a need to potentially self-destruct in order to gain a source of positive attention or support. It is a dysfunctional way to attempt to reach out for assistance with the inner negative feelings that accompany low self-esteem.
Some of the more serious after-effects of sexual violence against women, such as dissociative identity disorder, will usually require professional treatment. However, many of the emotional after-effects involve calling on one’s own sense of inner strength and willingness to no longer be controlled by external influences. Learning to develop or re-develop one’s own self-concept takes patience, time, and quite a bit of self-examination. Yet, it is crucial to separating one’s identity with the abuse experience.
Self-forgiveness is another aspect associated with moving past the victim identity. Battered women and survivors of abuse tend to place a large amount of blame on their own selves. Victims of violence can do this for the actual act(s) of the abuse, in addition to developing a cycle of high levels of self-criticism and unrealistic expectations for many of life’s aspects.
While recovery from an abusive relationship and acts of sexual violence is an individual process, it is important to not continue in complete isolation. Reaching out to others with similar experiences through professional counseling, support groups, as well as existing social networks, is just as important to the process. Abuse victims often feel alone in their experience(s), that others will think of them as untouchable or unlovable, and intense amounts of shame. Being around others with similar experiences and perspectives can aid in the re-development of trust, healthy coping mechanisms, and a sense of belonging or community.
Sexual violence against women is a cultural aspect of our society that many of us don’t want to acknowledge. It is, in many ways, a result of gender inequalities and power imbalance. Often rooted in emotional abuse tactics, its after-effects can manifest as a life-long struggle for its survivors. Overcoming both the intense negative self-concept and desire to deny the associated feelings of suffering is an individual recovery process that can greatly benefit from outside support. However, in the end it is about the abuse survivor developing a willingness to not allow her identity to be associated with the abuse act(s) or an external perspective of who she should be.
- Sources:
- (2010). RAINN: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. www.rainn.org.
- (2009, May 23). Domestic Violence Against Women: Recognize Patterns, Seek Help. Mayo Clinic.
Helen Akers - Helen E. Akers
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