Wedding Dresses for Older Brides: Women Over 40

Jan 7, 2011
Christina Gregoire

Wedding Dresses for Women Over 40 - photo christina gregoire

Here are wedding dresses for older brides, women who are over 40 or (gasp) over 50 or 60. I was remarried at 52, so I've been through it.

I’m not sure I like the title “Wedding Dresses for Older Brides” because I don’t consider women over 40 to be old. However, I had to use that phrase, or you wouldn’t find this article, and you wouldn’t get the benefit of my “older woman” knowledge or my “old lady” wedding gown expertise. So, accept my apologies if you are over 40 or over 50 and the title offends you.

Dresses for Second Weddings - It’s Your Party

You are not a baby but you are not an old biddy like some wedding sites seem to imply. If this is your first wedding, you can wear a white dress with a blusher veil. If this is your second wedding, you can wear a white wedding dress and a shorter veil or you can wear a black Gothic wedding dress, or you can wear a pair of pink pajamas, as long as you don’t wear that blusher veil. If you’re on wedding number three or more, follow the rules for wedding number two.

Actually, if it’s your first wedding, you can wear anything you want and any color you want. You are 40 years old. You don’t have to please mommy and daddy as much as a 20-something. You are a big girl and you should be making your own decisions by now. If you like blue, wear blue (or white or red or green or lavender).

Wedding Dresses for Older Brides

There are a few websites that talk about “mature bridal style”, which is funny because I was remarried at 52 and I felt like my usual young and imperfect Baby Boomer self. The photo at the bottom of the page is mine, so my advice is, as always, honest and based upon experience. My guy really wanted me to wear a white dress and veil, so I wore a 2-piece cream-colored gown with a little veil. I was hesitant, but it turned out to be really fun. So, I'm glad I listened to him.

Wedding Dresses for Women Over 40

When you are a bit older, you should focus on two areas of your wedding dress design: Neckline and fabric. Well, the style of the dress (A-line, sheath, ballgown, etc.) is important, although the style is somewhat predetermined by what looks good on your body type, but the wrong neckline or fabric can undermine everything.

Modest Wedding Gowns for a Wrinkled Neck

If you have a wrinkled neck, you might want a high neckline. Try googling “modest wedding gowns”.

Victorian style wedding dress (Do you remember the Gunne Sax dresses?)

There are two other very divergent trends to use as wedding dress sources. You don’t have to be in either group to wear these.

Etsy and Goth stores have Victorian neck ruffs and clothing with a similar style. A neck ruff can be worn with, or over, a garment.
Muslim brides wear modest wedding gowns. Any woman would look good in this as long as it fits properly.

Wedding Gowns for a Wrinkled Décolleté

To cover a wrinkled décolleté, you will want to look for a higher neckline, but make sure that the neckline is flattering to your face and your body type. Try something like a bateau or jewel neckline.

If you don’t have serious wrinkling, or you don’t care, you still must look for the right neckline to frame your face. I think most women look good in sweetheart necklines (with or without sheer overlay) and scoop-neck or V-neck styles.

Best Fabric for Wedding Gowns

Unless you are buff, don’t get a shiny material like satin because your dress might show every bulge. Matte fabric with embroidery or embellishments will camouflage bulges. Heavier fabrics will hold you in. Note: Don’t starve yourself when measuring for a dress. I was unable to eat for weeks before my wedding.

If you want to cover your arms, you have several choices. You can have regular fabric sleeves, sleeves made of something sheer like lace or net, a lace bolero, or a lacy shawl. There is no law saying that women with heavy arms must wear sleeves. Sometimes, sleeves make you look wider.

Short Wedding Dresses

If you were all decked out at a prior wedding and you want to wear something different, a short white or pastel dress is tasteful and beyond reproach.

Short suit dress

For a dress that is not white, try searching for “mother of the bride dress”. Who cares what someone else calls the dress that you use as a wedding gown?

Long mother of the bride dress

Wedding Suits for Women

You don’t have to look overly bridal, if that's not what you want. You can wear a skirted suit or a pantsuit. Search department stores like Macy’s or Nordstrom's, as well as wedding websites.

So go ahead and wear anything that is flattering and a bit festive. And, as long as you are having a good time, it’s your wedding, so you can wear whatever you like no matter what your age. People who are not happy that you are happy should not be invited.

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Bohemian Vintage Wedding Dresses - Low Cost Marriage Hippie Style

Remarriage After Divorce - Second Marriage Wedding Dresses

Mode Trends 2011: Fashion Clothes for Women Over 40 & 50

Are Hippie Wedding Dresses Different from Bohemian Wedding Gowns?

Casual Beach Wedding Dresses

Tina in the South of France, photo Raymond Gregoire

Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.

Wedding Dresses for Older Brides - photo christina gregoire

Wedding Gowns for Older Women - photo christina gregoire

Wedding Dresses for Women Over 40 or 50 - photo christina gregoire

Comments

Jan 19, 2011 4:42 AM

Guest :

Thank you for your nice article. I like it.

Thanks

Feb 17, 2011 7:44 PM

Guest :

Where can I buy the 3/4 length Mother of the Bride dress? It's beautiful

Feb 17, 2011 7:44 PM

Guest :

Where can I buy the 3/4 length Mother of the Bride dress? It's beautiful

Feb 18, 2011 12:08 PM

Christina Gregoire :

If you are talking about the light yellow dress, I found it at weddingDressesShop.co.uk. They call it "A-Line Round-neck Tea-length Satin Mother of the Bride Dresses 2010 style(MWYN055)".

It looks like the dress is custom made, but they ship to 160 countries and if you pay with a credit card, I believe you would have no problem with shopping overseas because your credit card company will back you up if you have any problems.

I have no direct involvement or experience with this company. On the other hand, I have purchased items from overseas (China, UK, Austalia, and more) and I have never had a problem. You might be able to take the photo to a bridal shop like David's Bridal to see if they could order this for you. I'll check their website and be back in a moment.

Feb 18, 2011 12:29 PM

Christina Gregoire :

I don't see this dress at Davids.

And, though it says 2010 design at weddingdressesshop.co.uk, you can probably have the dress made. It looks like the dress would cost a bit over $200, if the amount I see (in pounds) is correct. I am having a hard time navigating their site, but they have live chat and you could send them a link for my article if that helps.

In case you need to know, to send a link:
Click on the address box (where it says www or http or whatever)
When the address box is highlighted in blue, press Ctrl and C (to copy)
To paste into an email (or whatever) press Ctrl V.
If you're on Mac, I think you do the same but hit command (little swirly flower) instead of Ctrl.

Mar 24, 2011 6:43 AM

Guest :

more photos

Nov 29, 2011 12:54 PM

Guest :

There does seem to be some stereotyping of the "older" bride but then again, as a wedding photographer myself who photographs many 30-something, 40-something brides, maybe it's got a silver lining in that it keeps the "juvenile factor" away: Mature brides and grooms don't want someone to come in and turn their wedding into a kid's birthday party.

Nov 29, 2011 9:02 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Hi, I do links all day. This dress is from a few years ago and it's a two-piece dress. It cost around $900. That may have included the veil and tiara but I'm not sure. I don't know if they have it online but if I find it or something similar, I'll add a link.

Nov 29, 2011 9:54 PM

Christina Gregoire :

I don't see the same dress, but I've found something that isn't too expensive and I like it.

My dress started with a beaded corset. Then, I had the option of wearing that with (matching, but made of plain satin) pants, short skirt, or long skirt. I chose an A-line satin skirt, which was similar to a bride's maid's skirt they had.

Here is a dress that would give you a similar look (a David's Bridal design, as was mine) and this one is all one piece. It's on sale and it would photograph in a similar way to the dress I wore.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Organza-A-line-Gown-with-Sa tin-Draping-V8820_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Designer-Davids-Bridal-Collection

And, the more I think about it, the $900 price that I paid for my outfit included the veil and tiara. I just told the sales girl I didn't want to spend a lot of money...and the corset top she showed me was the first or second thing she brought. (Note: If I don't fall over laughing when I try something on, that's what I buy. I'm a quick shopper.)

Nov 29, 2011 10:00 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Nov 29, 2011 10:02 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Let's try that link again

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Organza-A-line-Gown-with-Sa tin-Draping-V8820_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Designer-Davids-Bridal-Collection

(The $200 dress in the other comment was about a different MOB dress in yellow.

Nov 29, 2011 10:03 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Nov 29, 2011 10:06 PM

Christina Gregoire :

I can't get the link to work. I've tried it several times. The dress is called: Strapless Organza A-line Gown with Satin DrapingStyle V8820.

Jan 9, 2012 8:44 PM

Guest :

You look GREAT! I am going to look for something similar. You look sexy and elegant...better than any suit or mother of the bride outfit.

Jan 24, 2012 9:59 AM

Guest :

i have recently recovered from breast cancer and have decided to renew my vows i have a weddin g dress short sleeves higher neckline as i have double mastectomy can you advise whether a veil would suit my age 53 if so small long .

Jan 25, 2012 2:15 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Your dress sounds beautiful. I think a short veil that doesn't reach the floor, a veiled hat (netting applied to a pillbox or small-brimmed hat?), or a white hat of any kind would look fabulous. (Try LouiseGreen.com for hat ideas.) However, in your case, you should wear whatever you want and whatever makes you feel beautiful because you are celebrating the rebirth of your new life. In your case, I say that you are a first time bride, again. Isn't that how you feel? That's how you sound. And, congratulations on your renewed chance for a long and happy marriage.

Feb 23, 2012 5:05 AM

Guest :

Thanks ever so much for the advice! My sister thinks that I should wear black! I am making my wedding dress and with your advice I now feel that it will be perfectly okay to do whatever I Want! I Don;t feel old nor am I going to be! My husband and I have been married for 28 years and have really never celebrated our Anniversary and I feel it is appropriate to renew our vow in the church where we were married and have my children and grand children be a part of the wedding party! We are a blended family and I wish to make it known that we ARE a true family! Again, Thank you sooooo much!

Feb 24, 2012 5:05 AM

Guest :

Hi,
I'm 30 years old but I'm going to get married for first time!!! I know it is very late... Is it true that wedding dress for me is funny!!! More over I'm a short woman I'm just 164 cm. my weight is 48kg...
Could you please help me about dress?

Thanks

Mar 4, 2012 9:42 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Dear 30,

You are not old. In America, most women don't get married until they are in their late 20 or early 30s...at least in my part of the country. First of all, congratulations on your upcoming marriage. (I'm sorry I didn't see your question earlier. My husband was in the hospital and I had less time to go online.)

If I have read your question correctly, you are about 5'4" and around 105 pounds. If you lived in LA, everyone would want to take pictures of your wedding because you are shaped like a movie star. For the rest of America, we would consider you to be a little skinny, but I just want you to know that EVERY wedding dress in the world will look good on you. Moreover, if you are Asian or if you have small bones like an Asian or petite Frenchwoman, you are a perfect weight.

I don't know how to answer your question. You can wear any dress you like. Your only problem is choosing a gown, because you will look beautiful in anything that is the right size.

Do you mean that "it is very late" because you won't have time to have a dress altered or that "it is very late" because you are 30? Let me tell you again, in most of the world 30 is not late. It is just right. If you get married too young, you will not know yourself and your own personality. I would like to see you in a long, beautiful lace veil that frames your face. I'm just takiing a wild guess and imagining what you might look like, but my instinct says that you should take a lot of time in picking out a great veil. (I'm not very good with kg and cm, but if you are 5'4" that's my height, and if you are thin, everything will look good on you.)

If you can wear your hair down and have a beautiful lace veil, I think you will look like an angel. If you have short hair, I would have to see a photo, but a pearl or slightly sparkled tiara and a veil would be beautiful.

or....

If you are thin, you might look good in a Guinevere (medieval) type of sheath dress with a low belt. I love those. But, don't let the long pointed (or flownced) sleeves overpower you. They can't be too long or too short.

or...

If you want something modern, almost all the new gowns for 2012 seem to be strapless. Oooh, I wonder what you would look like with a strapless gown and very long white gloves. Jacqueline Kennedy used to wear this look. I can't find the photo I'm looking for, but this is one combination that might be worth trying on. This is not the right dress, but I love this groovy 60s look on girls who are slender..(cut and paste) It's not quite right but it's a little bit close to what you might want to try on...very few women look good in this style, but you might be one of them.

http://lisawallerrogers.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/jackie-gown-with-gloves .jpg?w=500

If I misread your weight and you are heavy, then I know more about what you are asking. If you are 5'4" and heavy, most of the time you will look amazing in a sweetheart neckline. If you are heavy on top a sweetheart or deep vee neckline is good. If you are heavy on the bottom, you might want puffy sleeves...or short sleeves to balance your tush.

If I had a photo of you, it would be easier to visualize what would look best on you, but I am not a dress designer, I am an artist. You will know when you have the right dress when everyone around you starts to smile...and maybe cry. I think you should wear white and be a "proper" bride, but I don't know your coloring or your look. Have fun. Everything will look great on you.

Mar 4, 2012 9:42 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Mar 11, 2012 7:43 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Dear Guest With the Sister Who Wants You to Wear Black,

What is your sister's problem? I want you to wear what you want. It's YOUR celebration not hers.

Mar 12, 2012 1:14 PM

Guest :

Hello dear Christina!
Hope you and your husband are well!
Thanks a lot for your useful answer. To tell the truth your comment made me very happy.
Yes I'm 105 Pounds and 5.4 feet maybe because I do pilates 4 times a week. ( but in my future husband's country people call me old and skinny... ) Any way ( American are open-minded and kind but unfortunately I do not live in LA )
My hair is long and wavy and dark brown If you like and won't mind I will send you my pictures by e mail as soon as possible!
Thank you again for your encouragement!

Flavia

Apr 13, 2012 2:06 AM

Guest :

many thanks for this article, i am getting married later this year and i am 54 and i was so worried that wearing a white dress would be seen as mutton dressed as lamb but you have given me the confidence i needed ...

Apr 14, 2012 1:53 PM

Christina Gregoire :

I wasn't sure either. But, everyone loved it. It was perfect and it was fun and we all had a great time. It's you're wedding. I want you to wear whatever makes you happy and I want you to have fun. Weddings are joyous occasions and you are a good role model for all those younger people who just live together even after having two kids. I want to tell them to, "Get married already!" Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Wearing white is fine. Mazeltov and you're doing the right thing. If anyone doesn't like it they can leave. But, even at the restaurant (where we had the reception) I talked to two strangers (one a woman, one a man) and I said I felt a little old to be wearing this...just joking around...and they both said the same thing: I looked beautiful and I did the right thing. And, I felt like a princess...just do it ladies!

Apr 14, 2012 2:00 PM

Christina Gregoire :

Oh, I forgot to say that I talked to those strangers when I was away from other guests...so those people I didn't know weren't just saying that I looked great to make me feel better...they were serious. The woman I talked to was in the powder room...she could have said whatever she wanted, and it was a perfect chance for her to be catty or say something funny like, "Well, you are old enough to be my grandmother..." and I was expecting a joke, but she was poetically serious and she said that I looked beautiful and I looked perfect. Sometimes younger women can be a bit snippy, but she was truly speaking from her heart. And, that's why I wrote this article...to tell all older brides to wear whatever they want as long as it's festive enough for the occasion. Wear purple, wear white, wear a minidress, just celebrate your new life!

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