Being the victim of a cyberbully is frightening and humiliating. Although thought of as a problem for children and teenagers, many adults also get harassed by phone, computer, social networking sites or by other technological means.
There are three steps victims need to take in order to deal with cyberbullies legally and effectively.
Step One: Give a One Sentence Warning
This is perhaps the hardest step. Because of the emotions stirred from attacks, victims will naturally want to defend themselves. But writing long explanations or firing back with insults only winds up hurting the victim.
Cyberbullies thrive on attention -- any attention – negative or positive. The UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line theorizes that bullies harass victims in order to make up for inadequacies in their own lives. Responding to cyberbullies may reinforce these feelings and trigger more cyber attacks.
Email just one sentence: “Please do not contact me again.” That is all that needs to be sent, advises Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA.) Be sure to save a copy of this email in case legal prosecution is necessary in the future. This is considered a fair warning.
Step Two: Begin Recording Everything
If the cyberbully has been using a computer or texting harassing messages, then these should be recorded. Begin keeping a file and copying all exchanges by email, text, fax, social networks, written mail, chat rooms and online forums. If possible, go back to threads on forums or exchanges on Facebook and copy everything, including URLs and dates.
This serves two purposes. One is to provide a case if you should have to bring your cyberbully to court. Another is to keep you from doing something stupid, such as contacting the cyberbully. Recording past conversations will also help to burn off any nervous energy and feelings of helplessness that cyberbullying victims feel.
Step Three: Contact Webmasters and/or Police
After recording a number of inflammatory exchanges or at least one death threat, contact any and all authorities. For example, if the bullying was through a chat room, contact the webmaster. If the harassment is through email, contact the cyberbully’s email provider. If the cyberbully has threatened you by phone, contact your phone company for the records.
Some cyberbullied adults have reported that threatening legal action may quiet a bully, but not always. If the cyberbully is a co-worker, then your boss needs to know immediately, but you must have records and try to speak in a normal tone of voice so you are taken seriously.
If death threats increase or if you have reason to believe that the bully is physically threatening you, your family or your property, do not hesitate to go to the police and at least file a complaint. The police may give your bully a friendly warning, depending on the individual officer.
Summary
Being cyberbullied is horrible, but there are steps you can take in order to deal with your cyberbully. Give a fair warning, do not respond to the bully, record everything and contact the appropriate authorities. Also, if possible, change your email address and phone number. Contact your friends, family and even your pets for support during this shaky time.
Please do not use this article in the place of professional legal advice.
Sources
- UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line. "Bullying." http://www.hcib.ch/topic/bullying.pdf
- Cyber Angels. "Cyberbullying." http://www.cyberangels.org/parents/bullying.pdf
- Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA.) http://www.haltabuse.org/help/respond.shtml
- Author’s personal experience.
