Emotional conflict is interaction between two people that elicits perceptual differences. According to Error Management Theory, women tend to minimize social interaction signals while men tend to over-respond. This is what brings about the classic and somewhat humorous situation of men reading far more into a woman’s smile than the woman intended. The clearest lesson learned is that women deal with emotional conflict in a completely different manner than men.
Cultural Bias Can Contribute to Emotional Conflict
The rearing of children is replete with opportunities to succeed and fail and children are well known to have a sponge-like ability to pick up on the most subtle vocal cues, facial expressions and gestures.
According to Bridget Webb of the University of North Carolina, regardless of how carefully a mother treats her boys and girls, she cannot prevent them from encountering the stereotypical role of men and women in society. From situation comedies and advertisements for toys on television, to casual comments from well-meaning relatives like “Boys don’t cry” and “What a pretty little girl,” there is a bombardment of gender stereotypes as children grow.
Perceptive Cognition and Emotional Conflict for Women
Conflict management is a skill that must be carefully honed, whether one is male or female. One of the primary difficulties surrounds how each person perceives the gender roles at work.
A clear example is when two employees — one male and one female — seek a promotion and the female is selected. In an ensuing conflict situation where the female makes a request of the male, who is now a subordinate to the female, perception has a significant impact on how the situation unfolds. If the male declines the request, he will likely do so in a straightforward manner without explanation, as it was a request. The female may then perceive additional information that was not intentionally conveyed. This perception may make her change her approach to him the next time, with a markedly less friendly bearing which begins a downward spiral toward an inefficient interpersonal connection.
Trigger Phrases for Emotional Conflict
Conflict is always an emotional situation and there's some evidence to suggest that the use of specific phrases can elicit stronger emotional responses. Three different types of phrases are generally used as trigger phrases; negative labeling ("Don’t be stupid..."), commanding ("I think you should...") and power phrases (This is how it is done...")
Some believe that women are generally more affected by the use of trigger phrases than men; research shows that women are even more susceptible when the phrases are used by other women. Women tend to find the use of these types of phrases as fair, while men tend to think of them as unfair in conflict resolution.
Emotional Conflict Display
It is a common stereotype that women are more emotional however, according to Dr. David Grenshaw, genders may simply differ on which emotions are shown. . Research indicates that the sexes are equally emotionally responsive to situations but vary on which emotions they display. In an experiment where men and women view trauma victims, men characteristically show little or no response, whereas women largely react with sympathy. Physiological measurements during the view show that both sexes responded viscerally the same. Likewise, men are far more likely to respond to a situation eliciting anger by turning their emotion on the other participant, where women tend to take the same anger and turn it on themselves, internalizing blame for the situation.
There is still much to be researched about women and emotional conflict and it may change as the role of women reaches a more truly equal footing. Measurable progress was made throughout the women's movement. There are more women in places of power than ever before in the known history of the world.
Jennifer Terry - Jennifer Terry has worked to promote self-determination and consumer education for 10 years. She has been writing since 2004 and has been ...
