relationships with bipolar persons
- ohsoconfuzed
- sndbite7
- lynni31
- gottagetout
- nrk425
- wombat8
- ohsoconfuzed
- lynni31
- Dee44
- Dee44
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» ohsoconfuzed - alcohol addict
Hi everyone,It's nice to finally read that we all seem to be having the same type of issues in the bp people we date. I have heard from my bp guy and it was 2 months later that we ended up speaking. I left him a message to wish him a happy father's day and he called the next day to chat. We spoke to each other a couple of times and then on the weekend I actually went to see him. He showed me his new place that he bought and the apt. he was living in while the house was being finished up. He still looks the same and all and he has this severe drinking habit which I hate. Anyone else out there have their bp addicted to alcohol? After I left him he said that we'd talk later in the week and then I never heard from him so I mssgd him and he'd mssg back. This happened a couple of times over the week. He'd massg back at around midnight and even as late as 2. On Wednesday, I asked him to call me and then he mssgd back and asked me to stop mssging him and that he would mssg back when he got back from wherever he was AND when he wasn't so scared. I sooo wanted to mssg him back and remind him that he was a fully partcipating other mssnger at 2 in the morning and now you are scared????!!! It's been a week and we haven't spoken. So I am afraid here we go again. When I was at his apt. I confronted him and told him that I didn't think he was taking his meds, course he was drunk and he tells me that he changes his meds ever six weeks? Does that make any sense? Please let me know if you know.
-- posted by ohsoconfuzed
» sndbite7 - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by lindseyrae71:I've been reading on this site for the past 2 days trying to get some answers, as i too think my boyfriend is BP. I'm interested in reading the articles you sent to a couple people on this site. Can you forward them to me too. I also would love to hear any advice you have on being w/someone who has BP.
I have been w/my bf for 3 yrs. on/off and i feel i'm at the end of my rope. I have suspected he has BP for a while but never really knew enough about it or how to approach him. he has suddenly just decided after a little argument that he needs some time to think and that he'll call the next day. That was over a week ago. This has happened so many times that I've lost count. I have not contacted him and gave him space. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is anymore - contact him, give him more time, confront him on my thoughts of BP, or end the relationship and save my sanity, even though i love him very much. jannov483@yahoo.com
-- posted by sndbite7
» lynni31 - alcohol addict
In response to alcohol addict posted by ohsoconfuzed:Are you saying you were without contact for two months before you heard from him ?
It's been a month since I have heard from him. The guy I was seeing says he has not been diagnosed ( I find this hard to believe as he is 38 and has been hospitalized). I still hope to hear from him but have stopped waiting. He did not have a drinking problem, he told me that he cannot drink more than one or two.. or he starts to act "weird", can't help but wonder what his idea of weird is since his behavior was extremely odd to begin with. He had other habits though, seems as though once he gets his mind stuck on something there is no changing it, he gets obsessive about whatever it is at that moment, whether it be going to the gym , or church. I feel so sorry for him.
-- posted by lynni31
» gottagetout - alcohol addict
In response to alcohol addict posted by ohsoconfuzed:well my guy has been more of a binge drinker, when he's at the top of a manic episode or the bottom of a depressive episode, alcohol and a lot of it, is his self medication. I did end it yesterday, Friday night was the last straw, got in my house at 3:30 am, took a knife and started slicing his forearms, raging at me, grabbed my arms and shook me up a bit. I finally talked him down and got him out of the house at 5:45!!!! Said I had made him angry because I did not call him. Saturday he was tearful and sorry, had all the sweetest things to say and excuses. I held firm and told him we can only be friends, he needs to get help. Then he got angry and said his problems were because of the relationship, I make his emotions go up and down!!!!!!
I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders!!!
When you get around him and realize he has been drinking, best to keave him alone and go elsewhere. Even if he starts out in a good mood, it takes a split second to change faces.
-- posted by gottagetout
» nrk425 - just sme questions ..
hello everyone,i'm very new to this. a couple months ago (may to be exact) i met a man. the man of my dreams! he is an amazing person but is a bipolar. he told me he was the first few days we knew each other. he never keeps anything from me.
now i had an uncle who was bipolar and commited suicide quite some years ago. i never really knew too much of the disease because i was too young to understand. my mother had asked me if my recent boyfriend is bipolar. i asked how she noticed. she said a few things that she noticed from some of her brothers actions.
the only reason i'm confused is becuase i'm reading everyones passages and my boyfriend is not like that. he doesnt dissapear, he always calls, i've seen some of his mood changes and i just cant really talk to him while he's depressed.
he doesnt take medication, which scares me but i've noticed that he has a spending problem and he talkes a lot! sometimes where i cant even say anything .. and he'll get very upset if i interrupt him.
are there different levels of bipolar? does every bipolar need to be medicated? i'm very concerned if someone could help me out i'd really appriciate it!! thank you
-- posted by nrk425
» wombat8 - just sme questions ..
In response to just sme questions .. posted by nrk425:"...the only reason i'm confused is becuase i'm reading everyones passages..."
Bipolar is not a simple diagnosis to make. I suspect from my reading of many posts here that relationship behaviours confuse or muddy medical matters. Everything complained of here can't truly be blamed on symptoms of properly diagnosed bipolar. In any event, people are greater than their illness so their responses will be different.
If your boyfriend has been that honest with you already, he's in the best position to explain why he's not (admitting to being) on medication. Medication can be tricky stuff but it aims to level out the moods better than what you say he's experiencing. Maybe he stops taking it when he feels OK..and this is usually in the manic phase. Alcohol etc should not be mixed with bipolar-related medication so which would you prefer to stop?
Bipolar used to be called manic-depressive. There can be many levels to depression and anxiety and many 'triggers' that make them worse. Check out this quality website:
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?...
Best wishes
-- posted by wombat8
» ohsoconfuzed - grand stories
yes we were out of touch for 2 months because he made it quite clear that he didn't want to speak to me.as it now, we occasionally speak and it goes well. i guess i would say that we are friends, nothing more. i now am able to let things roll off my back in particular his grand stories. does anyone else have this problem too? it's when the bp person tells some far fetched stories. i sit here and listen, but i don't ever question it because i don't want him to get upset. what are we supposed to do? here's a good example he said that he bought a car the last time i saw him, but it just so happened that that weekend he lent it to a friend for that weekend. however i've spoken to him a couple of times since then and there has been no mention of it and I certainly never brought it up. Then one day he has to take off and visit someone in an emergency and as he's retelling the story, he mentions he went to rent a car. Hmmmmm.....I didn't say it but so was wondering that's for sure.
I'd love to hear what to do when you hear these grand stories, do you confront or leave it alone?
and here's the million dollar question how do you convince the bp person to start taking care of themselves and take the meds?????
-- posted by ohsoconfuzed
» lynni31 - grand stories
In response to grand stories posted by ohsoconfuzed:I have not heard from him in two months now. But I can tell you that when I was seeing him I would just listen to the grandiose stories, only once did I question his plans and I could tell he got annoyed and perhaps a little angry for my questioning. At first I wondered why his family never said anything to him about how what he was doing did not make sense and how they could just let him put all his time, energy and finances into something that really had no chance to work, but then I realized that they must be used to it and they probably just let it go and let him realize on his own. Problem being that once he realized it .. he hit a big low. I never brought up meds with him, but he brought it up often and had many excuses not to see someone for his problems. I don't think he ever had any real intentions towards meds but he knew there was something wrong. I don't think I will ever hear from him again..mostly because I did not fall for his stories of adhd and I am probably way to much reality for him.
-- posted by lynni31
» Dee44 - Boyfriend drives me crazy
I have been with him for a year Sunday.The first few months were great, then he became jealous. If i went out with my girlfriends he would mention that if i cheated on him it would be extremely hurtful. He was extremely sexual with me and then we went through a period where he didn't think he was adequate and suggested we have no sex. He thought i was cheating on him and during a fight told me all of the intimate dealings he had with other women. After a six months of being together he stopped talking about getting married. He admits he has a problem but wont seek therapy. I have read alot about bipolar disorder and he fits all of the desriptions. He goes through periods where he doesnt trust me. Threatens me if i am dating other people he will do the same. Throws it in my face that once we ran into a male acquatance from highschool and i talked to him too long. But he runs into women and its ok. He started screaming at me over nonsense the last two months. He belittles me. Cursed me out and took my keys to his apartment this weekend because he thought i was flirting with the cable guy. I took my clothes out and have some items still there which i plan to get this weekend. He keeps calling me as if nothing happened. This is the third time he took the keys and i am going to leave him. He wont get help and this year i have suffered so much pain. My friends are sick of hearing about it, they want the funny outgoing girl. All i do is worry about him and his reactions. One minute i am great, the next annoying. I believe he doesnt even understand his actions, or even remember them sometimes. He has broken up with me about five times and than later acts as if nothing happened. One time he forgot why i was upset. It took me a year to figure out he has bipolar behaivor. He is thrity four, never married. He is very smart, i cannot believe he hasn't researched his behavior. I think his mother is sick also.-- posted by Dee44
» Dee44 - totally confused
In response to totally confused posted by gottagetout:leave him for your childrens sake. You dont want them to grow up and think this is acceptable behavior.
-- posted by Dee44
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