Single and Scared Witless :(
- mcmurraymike
- rahunter_nf
- WhysWords
- kat715832002
- susie90
- jewell21
- bodiea
This archived discussion is "read only".
» mcmurraymike - single custodial dads
Hi all;I'm new to this "chat thing" (and to this SINGLE DAD THING TOO). I am the proud father of two boys, age 9 & 11 and am trying to come to grips with the recent separation of my wife ...oops EX wife of 20 years. Hope to chat with someone who has "been there, done that", and can help lift the spirits!
-- posted by mcmurraymike
» rahunter_nf - Re: single custodial dads
In response to message posted by mcmurraymike:I was partly there. My wife died when our daughter was four years old and I didn't remarry until she was in her twenties. Thus I was a single dad, although a widower rather than a custodial dad, for all but the baby to toddler years of my daugher's growing years.
It was hard, especially at first when I thought that I had to do everything for and with my daughter that my wife and I would have done. However, I found that relatives and friends were always ready to help out and to provide encouragement. Also, my daughter and I formed an even closer bond than we likely would have if there had been a mother/wife in our family.
Best wishes in your new life as a single dad.
-- posted by rahunter_nf
» WhysWords - Re: single custodial dads
In response to message posted by mcmurraymike:FEMALE IN THE ROOM. So I can't exactly say that I've been there where you are. By accident or fate, though, I've had numerous single fathers come my way who needed help, most were of low education and were being railroaded on their custodial rights. I believe that the rights of fathers are as critical as anyones, but mostly, I am very saddened that we, as a society, can't seem to realize that mothers *doing it all* and father's separated from their children as replaceable bacon providers is of a detriment to the children. I search through sites like this because the fathers I help rarely have computer access/skills. I don't do it for pay. Not advertising for more either-I can't see working with someone who isn't close IRL, and have enough of those now.
Every divorce saddens me, so I would like to express some sympathy for what you're going through as a now ex-husband, your whole identity must change now. Still, the statisitics show that children, with involved fathers, become closer to their fathers after the family splits and this is a very good thing.
My ex-husband, because of mental illness has been absent from our children's lives for seven years. People think of me as divorced, I think of myself as widowed, though the last year was a horror, I don't think of *my husband* as having done those things. I do think of the good fathering he once gave, his deep love and affection for his sons, the loss my daughter must bear for never having met him, the loss my sons must bear for having known and met him. They have had some wonderful male role models, but thes can never replace their lost *Daddy*.
It's a tough row ahead, but if you always give your boys the best you've got, the love and affection, the pride and joy, their eventual *success* in life will be an unfathomable reward.
Best of luck.
Jeannie
-- posted by WhysWords
» kat715832002 - Re: single custodial dads
In response to message posted by mcmurraymike:Well from a girls point of view if youre interested I may not have been married but my son is 9months old and his dad and i broke up when i was pregnant with him. The good news it all gets easier, dont bad talk your ex in front of the kids though for their sake. I hope theres some way i can help, my e-mail address is Kitkat715832002@yahoo.com----
take care kat
-- posted by kat715832002
» susie90 - Re: single custodial dads
In response to message posted by mcmurraymike:Im not a single father, but was a single mother of a 3 year old to present, now 10 years old. I have finally found someone to share life with. I have been there dont that also. I wanted to tell you , your kids will keep you grounded, focus all your attention on them and their lifes{as Im sure you already do} and before you know it you will heal and that right person will also come along for you, when she does your children will accept her seeing how happy it makes dad!!!!
Everything will work out , its your kids that will help you through it!!! Trust me!!!!
-- posted by susie90
» jewell21 - Re: Re: single custodial dads
How are you surviving? Please give me some tips to help me get through this grieving process. My boyfriend left me during the pregnancy as well and my daughter is now 3 months old. It has been a difficult time for me but am trying to cope. I love my daughter very much and want to be the best possible mother I can be for her.-- posted by jewell21
» bodiea - single custodial dads
In response to single custodial dads posted by mcmurraymike:Don't know that I can raise the spirits, but I guess in the realm of things it slowly gets better. I was divorced in September and have custody of two beautiful children. It is diffiult at times and really stressful as well as I dont have anyone to help me very often. Normally getting to aftercare is the most stressful part of my day. The ex is gone and has no communication so I go it alone daily and just take it in stride. But it's getting better!
-- posted by bodiea
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